A Poem for My Mother by Robin Ngangom — Summary and Analysis
Poet: Robin Singh Ngangom
Form: Lyric poem (autobiographical / confessional)
Curriculum: BA English Honours, Indian Poetry in English, Northeast Indian Literature
About the Poet
Robin Singh Ngangom was born in Manipur, a state in Northeast India. He is one of the most significant voices in contemporary Indian poetry in English, particularly from the Northeast. He taught English at North-Eastern Hill University (NEHU) in Shillong, Meghalaya, and spent much of his adult life away from his home state. This experience of living far from home, and the emotional distance it creates from loved ones, deeply shapes his poetry.
Ngangom's work is known for its quiet emotional intensity, its attention to domestic and personal life, and its grounding in the landscape and culture of Northeast India. His collections include Words and the Silence (1988), The Desire of Roots (1992), and Time's Crossroads (1994). He is also a translator who has brought Manipuri poetry into English.
His poems often deal with themes of longing, displacement, violence, love, and memory. He writes from a deeply personal place, and "A Poem for My Mother" is among his most moving works. It is a confessional poem: the poet speaks directly about his own life, his regrets, and his relationship with his mother.
Background and Context
"A Poem for My Mother" is a biographical poem, meaning it is drawn directly from the poet's own life. Like many educated young men from the Northeast, Ngangom had to leave home to build a career. He moved to Shillong to work as a teacher and academic. This physical separation from family, especially from a devoted mother, is the emotional core of the poem.
The poem is rooted in Meitei culture, the dominant culture of Manipur. The mother's name, Palem Apokpi, is a Meitei name. Her daily routine of rising before dawn, visiting the temple, sweeping floors, and going to the bazaar reflects the traditional life of women in Manipur. The "liberated daughters-in-law" in the poem hint at a changing social order, where younger women go out to work rather than staying home, placing more burden on older women like the poet's mother.
The poem belongs to a tradition of writing about maternal love and sacrifice that spans cultures. What makes it distinctive is the poet's unusual honesty: he does not praise himself. Instead, he admits failure, regret, and inadequacy.
Poem Walkthrough: Stanza by Stanza
Stanza 1
> Palem Apokpi, mother who gave birth to me,
> to be a man how I hated leaving home
> ten years ago. Now these hills
> have grown on me.
> But I'm still your painfully shy son
> with a ravenous appetite,
> the boy who lost many teeth after
> emptying your larder. And
> I am also your dreamy-eyed lad
> who gave you difficult times
> during his schooldays, romancing
> every girl he wanted, even
> when he still wore half-pants.
The poem opens by addressing the mother by her full Meitei name: Palem Apokpi. This is an act of tenderness and respect. "Apokpi" means mother in Meitei, so the address itself is layered with love.
The poet says that ten years ago he left home to become a man, a self-reliant adult. He hated leaving. But now, the hills of his new home (likely Shillong, which is known for its rolling hills) have "grown on him," meaning he has got used to this place.
Yet he insists he is still the same person his mother knew. He is still the shy, hungry boy who used to empty her larder (the food storage). He ate so many sweets as a child that he lost many teeth. He is also the "dreamy-eyed lad" who flirted with every girl he liked, even as a young teenager in short pants. These childhood memories are warm and self-deprecating. The poet is saying: mother, I have not really changed. I am still your naughty, hungry, romantic boy.
Key word: Ravenous means extremely hungry. Larder is a pantry or food cupboard. Dreamy-eyed means someone lost in fantasies and daydreams.
Stanza 2
> You told your children that
> money and time do not grow on trees, and
> I could never learn to keep up with them.
> It isn't that I've forgotten
> what you've come to mean to me
> though I abandoned much and left
> so little of myself for others
> to remember me.
The mother had a practical wisdom: money and time are precious, they do not come easily, and you must manage them carefully. This is the kind of advice every responsible parent gives. But the poet admits he was never able to follow this advice. He has not managed his money or time well. He has not built a successful life by his mother's standards.
He clarifies that this does not mean he has forgotten her or her lessons. He has abandoned many things in his life, and in the process of surviving and moving forward, he has left very little of himself behind for people to remember him by. He is a person without a strong legacy. He feels he has dissolved into ordinary life, leaving no mark.
This stanza carries a quiet sadness. The poet is confessing that he has not lived up to the values his mother tried to instil in him.
Stanza 3
> I know how you work your fingers to the bone
> as all mothers do, for unmarried sons,
> ageing husband and liberated daughters-in-law.
> Worried about us, for a long time
> your lips couldn't burgeon in a smile,
> lines have furrowed your face and
> first signs of snow are on your hair.
Now the poem shifts to a description of the mother's life. She works "her fingers to the bone," meaning she works exhaustingly hard. She does this for the entire family: for her unmarried sons who are still dependent, for her ageing husband, and for her "liberated daughters-in-law." The phrase "liberated daughters-in-law" is significant. These are the wives of the poet's brothers who work outside the home rather than doing household chores, which means more domestic burden falls on the mother. The poet does not judge the daughters-in-law. He simply observes the situation.
The worry she carries for her family has worn her down. Her face no longer breaks into easy smiles. Wrinkles have furrowed her face. "First signs of snow are on your hair" is a beautiful metaphor: her hair is going grey and white, like the first snow on hills. It is a gentle, loving image of ageing.
Key word: Burgeon means to grow or open up. "Your lips couldn't burgeon in a smile" means her smile has disappeared, swallowed by worry.
Stanza 4
> Today, as on every day you must have risen
> with temple bells before cockcrow, swept
> the floors and after the sacred bath
> cooked for the remainder of us. I can see you
> returning every dusk from the bazaar,
> your head laden with baskets.
>
> Must you end toiling forever?
Even though the poet is far away, he can picture his mother's daily routine exactly. She wakes up before dawn, before the rooster crows, rising with the sound of temple bells. She sweeps the floors of the house. After her ritual bath, she cooks for the family. In the evening she returns from the bazaar with heavy baskets of vegetables and groceries on her head.
This routine is unceasing. It never stops. The poet asks a heartbreaking question: "Must you end toiling forever?" He is wondering whether his mother will have to work like this until the very end of her life, without rest, without peace. Will she ever get to stop? This single question holds immense love and guilt.
Key word: Cockcrow is the sound of a rooster crowing at dawn. Laden means heavily loaded or burdened.
Stanza 5
> I'm sorry Palem.
> I've inherited nothing
> of your stable ways or culinary skills.
> Forgive me, for all your dreams
> of peace during your remnant days
> I turned out to be a small man
> with small dreams, living a small life.
The final stanza is a direct apology. The poet calls his mother by her name: "I'm sorry Palem." He says he has not inherited her qualities: her stability, her reliability, her skill in the kitchen. He has not become the kind of person who could give her peace and security in her old age.
He asks for forgiveness. His mother had dreams: she hoped that her children would grow up, become successful, and give her a peaceful old age. But the poet has failed her. He calls himself "a small man with small dreams, living a small life." This is a devastating self-portrait. He is not rich, not powerful, not successful enough to repay her sacrifices.
Yet in this honesty, the poem becomes deeply moving. The poet's love for his mother is enormous. It is because he loves her so much that he feels so small in comparison to her greatness.